


come may your brightest or deepest shade of blue

by fireflylights



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: '00 Line, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Light Angst, Light Swearing, M/M, Mentions of getting drunk, Self-Indulgent, Swearing, Time Skips, i think asshole was mentioned too many times there hahaha, mentions of drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 12:31:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19701427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflylights/pseuds/fireflylights
Summary: — no matter what, Lee Jeno, I will still forever love you.(where Renjun writes Jeno a letter, associating him and the happenings in their life with shades of blue.)





	come may your brightest or deepest shade of blue

**Author's Note:**

> i just realized that in my prev fic, the '00 line was complete there, so.. ANOTHER ONE. haha it's noren again (Surprise!!) 
> 
> i didn't expect it to be this long (7k+ words wow) but i have no regrets,, 
> 
> this is unedited and i have not proof read this but i still hope its at least good ;-;
> 
> i hope everyone who reads this actually enjoys it!!! much love!!

_Dearest Lee Jeno,_

_For me, when asked what colour represents you, my answer would be that your colour will be the all kinds of blue._

_If asked what shade, though, the first colour would be sky blue. Then, royal._

_Sky blue, from when we were young. Then, royal blue because, well, you very much look like a prince._

\---

Renjun remembers that day vividly. It was the day he transferred to a new neighbourhood, and therefore, a new school. For him, it would’ve been easy if he had transferred in the beginning of first grade, but, for some reasons—it being that his mother bought the house of her cousin who needed money—he transferred in the middle of third grade.

For that reason, he thought that making a friend would be impossible. Especially when one of his classmates was so, so cold looking. Not Renjun minded, though, he grew up having his older cousins as his friends, anyway. He was never good at making friends with kids his age. He was an only child, too.

“So, do you like Iron Man?” A kid, who had an incredibly wide smile, asked. It was his second day at school that day, astounded by someone approaching he didn’t answer right away. “Mom said that if I would like to make friends I should see first we have something in common.” The kid explained.

Renjun, even as a kid, he rose one eyebrow questioningly (a thing he learned from one of his older cousins, Sicheng). “Why? Do you not have any friends? Why do you want to be mine?”

The boy just shrugged. “I have one, but he’s absent today.” He said. Shoulder slumping. “And you’re new. You honestly looked like you were kind of lonely.” The boy grinned. Renjun thought the kid was weird at this point, one second he seemed sad, the second he was happy. Renjun? Confused. “Tomorrow, I’ll introduce you two. We can be the best of friends starting tomorrow! But for now, do you like iron man?”

Maybe it was because he’d never had a friend his age. Or maybe, it was because having two best friends sounded exciting, so, Renjun answered,

“No.” He, wasn’t going to lie to the first friend he was about to make.

“Oh.” The boy replied. Disappointed without a doubt.

“But, I do like Spiderman.” Renjun said with a toothy grin. “And, I’m Renjun. Huang Renjun. I’d like to be your friend, and if my name’s too hard for you, my mom said you can call me Injun.”

The boy’s eyes sparkled (which was impossible, yes, but it really did). “Lee Donghyuck.” He smiled.

Soon, as the next day came, Renjun learned that boy with a cold stare was Lee Donghyuck’s friend, Lee Jeno, who came to school wearing a sky blue shirt designed with a little Spiderman emoticon in front. He wore the biggest smile when they were introduced to each other, quickly turning Renjun’s first impression of him into dust.

Because at that moment, Lee Jeno, to Renjun’s impression, was now a charming prince with a very, very warm smile.

\---

_See? Very sky and royal blue, you were. Up until now, honestly._

_Then, as our relationship progresses, along the things that happened, I learned that the colour of the brightest star, Sirius, was bluish._

_And guess who it reminded that me of? Yes. You, Lee Jeno._

\---

If someone would ask Renjun when he started liking Jeno, his answer would be when _he flashed that wonderful smile of his on third grade_.

But, if you want a specific answer of when did his heart started beating crazy, or when did the spiders (yes, spiders, _“because they feel like they have crawl in your guts around and I can’t think of anything but I’m sure they’re not butterflies”_ as Donghyuck described them on time, which Renjun thought was appropriate) started filling his guts whenever the boy was around, he would answer _that night_.

See, Renjun, in the past, wasn’t as interested in the galaxy as he is to his present self. Much less when talking about stars. Yes, the night sky is very much lovely and calming to look at, but all the things that he knew about the space and stars came from Jeno, and, his interest to the topic sparked when he learned that Jeno has a thing for the skies and the things beyond it.

It was a ‘Donghyuck-less’ hangout for the two, as much as Donghyuck was such a high spirited teen, he still had to ask permission from his parents to go out with his friends, but after failing two subjects on the third quarter of their sixth grade, the boy was grounded. They were hanging outside on Jeno’s balcony. Backs laid on a pile of blanket that they got from Jeno’s bed and closet.

“Hey, Injunnie, did you listen to Mrs. Park’s discussion earlier? About the brightest star in our solar system?” Jeno started. He propped his elbows too look at the side where Renjun was lying.

Renjun hums. “Not really, Hyuck was pestering me about going to the movies with him this Saturday. He said that his mom would say yes if she knows I’ll be with Hyuck.” Renjun shifts to face Jeno, tucking his palms as a make shift pillows for his cheeks. “What was it about?” He asked, genuinely wanting to know. After all, he could listen to Jeno speak for hours about the things he loved and not get tired of it.

And, it was as if Jeno knew this fact, because he always loved sharing his thoughts with Renjun. And Renjun very much loved it that way.

Jeno smiles, “That star is called Sirius. A star in the constellation Canis Major. Mrs. Park said that it is bluish in colour.”

“Even the brightest star has way of being related to you, huh.” Renjun mumbled sleepily.

“What?” Jeno questions, chuckling. _Melodic_. Renjun laughs with him, he hums and stifles a yawn right after.

“Are you sleeping over? I’m sure our moms wouldn’t mind anyway. Mrs. Huang knows you’re here, right?” Renjun hums. Sleep already winning in his systems. “Come on, let’s go to the bed.”

“Let’s just sleep here. It’s not that cold to catch a cold anyway. Yeah?” Renjun answered. “Come cuddle.”

Jeno complied. Moving close to Renjun as he hugs him. Renjun felt contented at that moment, for in his arms was a bright and lovely star, cuddling him to a goodnight sleep.

\---

_You see, my love, admitting to myself that I like you was easy. It’s easy. Always. Because honestly? Who wouldn’t like someone as wonderful as you?_

_And, as if it was my brain has a mind of its own, it kept on giving me reasons to like you._

_Light blue._

_The hottest flames are light blue in colour. Haha_

\---

“Stop that! You’ll get drool all over my chemistry notes.” Donghyuck hissed which snapped Renjun out of his reverie. Donghyuck looked at where Renjun’s staring at. “At this point, you’re just missing a sign that says ‘Lee Jeno, I Like You’ in your forehead. You’re so obvious.” The boy rolled his eyes.

They were in their second year of high school at that time. He and Donghyuck went out for lunch and for them to catch up on some school stuff at a nearby café.

“What do you mean?” Renjun laughed nervously. “I so don’t like Jenjen.”

“Dude, I know like, since fifth grade, when Jeno was delivering his shit speech about stars and I tried to distract you but you were too busy ogling at Jeno for you to pay attention to me.” Donghyuck deadpans. “And to remind you, I tend to be a handful when I annoy my friends, but I can’t seem to get to you when you’re so busy admiring your Jenjen.”

Renjun sighs. “Really? Am I that obvious?”

“Yes, Injun. To the fact that I don’t know if Jeno’s oblivious, stupid, or he’s just ignoring your obvious feelings.” The boy said with attitude. “Can’t blame you, though. Who wouldn’t fall for those charming face, anyway.” Donghyuck remarked. Both of them looking at Jeno from the other side of the café they were at, working on a project with his groupmates.

“And, he’s really hot, too.” Renjun added. “When did he become that hot, not too long ago we were kids, shit, oh my god.” He rambles.

“Agreed.” Donghyuck said while taking a sip at his iced tea.

“Hey! I call dibs.” Renjun lightly smacked Donghyuck arms.

“I just agreed, Jun, What the hell. He’s all yours.” They both laugh. Silly boys.

And while Donghyuck got back to work, Jeno looked at them, send a small wave at Renjun.

He gave a small smile and waved back.

Renjun thought that Jeno looks good like that, like every other day because he really find whatever Jeno does attractive, anyway.

The hottest flames are light blue, and on that moment, as Renjun stared at Jeno for the last five seconds that he gave himself (because he admits that he is starting to look like a creep if he did not stop), laughing at whatever one of the boy’s groupmate had said, wearing his sleeveless shirt and glasses, he thought that the boy emits a light blue colour like the ones of the flame.

\---

_Fuck, Jen. By that time I was so sure that I was in it deep with my feelings for you._

_That somehow, it slipped my mind that blue would go well with other colors, too._

\---

Two months after his not so confession to Donghyuck at the café, the new colour in Jeno’s life came.

It’s not that sudden. Renjun just didn’t see it coming that one of their schoolmates, named Liu Yangyang (whom he didn’t know existed and was their classmate, by the way), got paired up to do a research project with Jeno.

He didn’t mind at first, considering that he thought that they’ll be spending much time anyway since they were best friends, and well, he was right… at first.

“Here!” Renjun raised his hands as soon as saw Jeno entering the café, giving a small wave to which the other replied to with a smile. Jeno made his way to him and sat in front of him, and Renjun, being so focused to Jeno, didn’t even notice that Jeno was with someone, too, who sat right beside Jeno.

“This is Yangyang.” Now Renjun noticed the boy. “My partner for the Literature research project. Yangyang, this is Renjun, my partner in crime.” They all laughed.

“Nice to meet you.” Renjun said as they shook hands.

“You, too. Jeno talks about you a lot.”

He looks at Jeno questioningly. Jeno just shrugged. “All good things, I hope.” He smiled.

It’s not that Renjun didn’t like Yangyang, the boy was sweet and has a nice smile, too. Not to mention that they were both of the same nationality. So really, he didn’t have a strong reason to hate the sweet boy.

Except that Renjun thinks that Jeno is becoming ridiculously close even if they never literally talked until they became partners. Renjun was jealous beyond doubt. This meet up was supposed to be just for him and Jeno, and Renjun was annoyed to think that Jeno just thought of bringing someone along when he knew that Renjun was never one to get comfortable with new people right away.

So, that being said, Renjun began feeling uncomfortable. He couldn’t seem to get into what Jeno and Yangyang was talking about. It was something about a stupid game that Renjun wasn’t into. As much as he wanted to act up at the point, it wouldn’t be fair to just get mad and go without a word because that would be unfair for both Jeno and Yangyang. But he really couldn’t take it anymore. It was getting too suffocating for him.

“I need to go home.” He blurted. Anxiousness and jealousy clouding his mind. “My mom’s looking for me. Sorry.” He stands up abruptly, avoiding Jeno’s gaze and giving an apologetic smile to Yangyang’s way. He didn’t even wait for them to answer as he headed for the exit. He heard Jeno calling for him. He heard the boy apologized to Yangyang before following him but Renjun didn’t stop.

He was two buildings away from the café when he heard Jeno calling for him again, jogging to catch up to him. “Jun, wait up.” Jeno said, panting as he caught Renjun’s wrist. Stopping both of them and turning Renjun to face him. Renjun only looked at the ground.

“You didn’t even check your phone and suddenly, your mom was looking for you, huh.” Jeno chuckles. Not letting go of Renjun’s wrist.

“So, you noticed that even when you were too busy not paying attention to me, huh.” Renjun mumbles. Eyes still on the ground.

Jeno pulls him in for a hug, which Renjun gladly accepted. “I’m sorry, Injunnie. Yangyang originally had plans after our meeting, but he got cancelled on by his friends. So, I offered that he can go with us instead.”

Renjun grunts. “Now I feel bad.”

“No worries you big baby. I know I should’ve texted you first since, I know you’ll be uncomfortable.” Jeno sighs. “I’m sorry for that. I’ll just send Yangyang a text. I’m sure he’ll understand.” Renjun broke the hug to look up at Jeno. The boy bops his nose. “Ice cream at By The Bench?”

Renjun smiles. “I’d love that.” Jeno moves to lace their fingers together. Smiling at Renjun before they walk.

Renjun was smiling the whole time they spent chatting and eating ice cream. Nothing can take this away from him, he thought.

\---

_And that, there are other colors that I can discover, as well._

\---

It was two days after they had ice cream when Renjun exchanged a few words with the university’s lovely flower boy, Na Jaemin.

It was a nice day at the library. Renjun was just reading a book and listening to some calming music that day. As much as he loved spending time with his (only two) friends, he really enjoyed times when he could just be alone.

He didn’t even noticed Jaemin sitting in front of him. It was on when the boy tapped on the part of the table that his peripheral vision could see was when Renjun looked up and removed his earphones; wide eyed and mouth hung open.

The boy smiled at him. “Oh, great. You didn’t hear me. I just kinda spoiled the ending for you.” He chuckled.

“Oh.” Renjun didn’t know what to say. Even up until that day, he was still not that good in making new friends.

It was very awkward, but Na Jaemin didn’t seem to think about it that much. “I’m Na Jaemin.” He was still smiling even when he introduced himself and as he offered his hand for Renjun to shake.

Renjun took his hands and shook it as he smiled awkwardly. “Yeah. I know. Everybody does. I’m Huang Renjun.”

There was a moment of silence. Neither of them were saying anything. Renjun was just looking at the cover of the book he was reading, dragging his fingers on its spine.

Na Jaemin coughs to get Renjun’s attention. He looked up at the boys, who now seemed really nervous. “Okay, I know this is abrupt and uncomfortable but,” The boy breathed deeply. “Can I please have your number?”

And Renjun didn’t know what he was thinking, and maybe it was the shy smile Na Jaemin was giving him when he seemed confident just a while ago, but he did give his number to the boy who seemed really fulfilled because of it.

\---

_Looking back, it is kinda funny that it happened. And kinda sad._

_Deep blue represents sadness. And I thinks that blue represents this part of our story._

_\---_

“Asshole! I was going to eat that.” Donghyuck shouts at Jeno who took some fries out of Donghyuck’s plate. It was a miracle, that Friday night, they were complete and having dinner together.

Renjun and Jeno only laughed at Donghyuck’s expression. “Yang should be here soon.” Jeno said, checking his phone.

After the incident at the café, Renjun promised Jeno that he’d give Yangyang a chance to be their friend, since _‘he is such a nice kid and he’s Chinese, too, doesn’t make much sense, but you know have something in common’_ as Jeno explained. He wasn’t wrong though, because even if they’ve only known Yangyang for a couple of days, it was undeniable that the boy fit into their group nicely.

“Sorry I’m late!” And as if on cue Yangyang made his way to them, panting.

“About time.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “I’m halfway through my meal.”

Yangyang mimics Donghyuck, mocking the other. Donghyuck throws a piece of his fries at the new comer. The group laughs. However, Renjun’s was cut short when his phone buzzed. The text was from Jaemin.

“Hmm, something from the flower boy?” Donghyuck asked while wiggling his eyebrows.

“Ha-ha, Hyuck you know it’s not like that.” He threw a knowing glance at Donghyuck and Yangyang, grinning. “Anyway, I need to go.”

“Well, what is it?” Jeno asked, seemingly annoyed as he put down his utensils carelessly.

“What?” Renjun was confused. He could sense that the air was tense. Donghyuck and Yangyang were exchanging worried glances.

“Jun, you’ve been hanging around with that boy, Na, for two weeks almost every day and the one time our group can actually be complete after weeks, you’re ditching us for, what, a boy you’ve meet two and a half weeks ago?” Jeno scoffs, looking Renjun straight into the eyes with anger.

“You’re being silly right now, Jen—”

“I’m being silly when you’re the one ditching us? Is it really nothing, Jun?” Jeno was really angry.

“In case you haven’t notice, you guys are the not the only friends I have.” Many eyes were on them right now. Donghyuck and Yangyang were mumbling hushed apologies to the (thankfully) few people at the diner.

“Guys, let’s not do this here.” Donghyuck tried, as he tried to pull Renjun’s shirt to sit.

“No.” Jeno answered looking at Donghyuck. “If something’s going on with him and Na Jaemin, he should tell us, because I’m tired of him ditching us for that boy.”

“You’re being childish.” Renjun huffed.

Jeno looked at him again. “You know what, go, must be fun to actually have a new friend when you’re sick of the only ones who’s been there for you for too long when you had none, right?”

Renjun could just look away, eye hot as tears threatened to fall from them. Did Jeno really felt that way? Did it really seemed like he was ignoring them for Jaemin? Did he not make it clear to Jeno that Jaemin just needed help from him? _Did it really seem like he was neglecting the most important people in his life when that was the last thing that he wanted to do?_

“Jun—” Before Donghyuck could even stop him, he already grabbed his bags as he left the diner, the sound of Donghyuck and Yangyang’s voice call after him.

Renjun ran.

He didn’t know for how long, but he knew he was going to where Jaemin was. Hot fat tears falling down his face, and he seemed to only cry harder when he saw Jaemin’s figure, waving at him. He ran to where the boy was standing, engulfing him in a tight hug as he cried harder.

“Woah, Jun, are you crying? What happened?” Jaemin asked, worried. Renjun could only cry harder. “I’m guessing ice cream?” Renjun looked up at Jaemin, still crying as tried to his best to nod.

“Please.”

“So, wanna tell me what happened?” Jaemin asked. Careful. As if Renjun would cry again if he said the wrong words. Which was the case since Renjun felt like he could still cry some more. They were sat at one of the table situated at outside of By The Bench; an ice cream parlor which was Renjun, Donghyuck, and Jeno’s favourite (as Renjun thought of that he felt like crying again).

He gulped and nodded.

Renjun tried to deliver the story the best as he could without crying, but as he remembered Jeno’s angry face and somewhat hurt voice, a few tears escaped as he finished.

“Shit, Jun. If I had known that this would not end well I shouldn’t have come to you for help.” Jaemin apologizes as the boy looked on his ice cream.

Renjun chuckled. Wiping his tears with his handkerchief. “Don’t worry, it’s not your fault that you suck at physics.” Jaemin whined, looking at Renjun still worried. “And besides, I get to learn you gross love triangle with Donghyuck and Yangyang, anyway. Plus, I get to play wingman.” He replied. Staring blankly at nowhere right after.

“Hey, I can talk to him if you want to. I don’t like it that you’re sacrificing your precious love for the betterment of my love life.” Jaemin whispered, squeezing Renjun’s hand on the table.

Renjun smiled. Eyes’ glassy as he looked right back at Jaemin. “No, it’s okay. I’m just gonna give him some space. Maybe a week or two, then I’d talk to him.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.” He wasn’t.

He was walking back home alone after minutes of convincing Jaemin that he could, thinking about the things that happened when his thoughts were interrupted by a figure standing outside their house. He couldn’t make it out at first, but he stopped in his tracks when he realized that it was Jeno.

He was about to run out again, but Jeno must’ve sensed his presence as he looked at Renjun and suddenly, the boy was making his way to him and seconds later, Jeno was hugging him so tightly as if he’d disappear if he didn’t.

“Jun, I’m so sorry, I-I was being stupid a-and a jerk, I-I didn’t mean every single thing that came out of my mouth, I was just so, I don’t know, not used to having you around with us? A-and I was just being stupid and I-I know it was fault. Jun, shit I’d do everything for your forgiveness. Just please, Jun, please don’t leave me.” Renjun was taken aback. Jeno was crying, and he couldn’t help but cry, too.

“You are stupid.” Jeno just nods.

“And a jerk.” The boy just nods again. Renjun hugs him back as tears fall down from both of their eyes.

“How could you say that, Jen? You know I love you and Donghyuck, I’d do anything for you both, please don’t think like that.” Jeno sobs harder.

“I know, I know, please J-Jun, don’t leave me.” The boy hugs him tighter. “I-I’m so, so sorry please.”

“I won’t, silly.” Renjun giggles. Tears still streaming down his face, whether it was for relief or joy or both, he wasn’t sure, all he know is that they’re going to be okay.

“I was childish, I know, a-and Donghyuck and Yangyang explained everything to me, Jun, I should’ve just trusted you, but, somehow, I-I was so used to that we were the only ones with you that my thoughts became selfish.” Renjun broke the hug but Jeno’s arms remained on his waist. He wiped Jeno’s tears away and his right after. “And you can make new friends, okay? I’d be glad to meet Jaemin and make him part of our group, but, please just don’t leave me.”

Jeno breathes deeply. Renjun smiles at him. “I won’t. Not now not ever.” He replied, planting a kiss on Jeno’s cheek.

\---

_See, my love? On those times, really, even when you and I got to blend well and discover new people,_

_Somehow, we still end up together at the end._

_And just when I thought that it would always be that way, I didn’t know that that shade of deep blue can go even deeper._

_I know you still think that you hurt me really bad, but love just hurts at times, doesn’t it?_

_Because as they say, hurting goes with loving._

_And after all that happened, the only thing that matters to me right now, is that I have you, my love._

\---

Renjun’s phone buzzed in his pockets, diverting his concentration from his teacher who’s talking about introduction on their algebra subject. It was from the _’00 line aka the gays + Jeno Lee_ group chat, consisting of him, Jeno, Donghyuck, Yangyang, and Jaemin.

_[13:30, 12 MAR]_

_[hYUCKkk]_

_Jun, you r so fucked_

He was definitely risking it, texting on his first day of Uni, but he wasn’t gonna let Donghyuck slide.

_[injunnie <3]_

_what now asshole?_

_[hYUCKkk]_

_Nothing, really. U really think taking physics is that easy?_

_Honestly thought u’d take an art related course like jen,,,_

_Guess tables have turned_

Renjun could only roll his eyes.

_[JENJEN]_

_Jun, tf, y u texting?_

_Aren’t you in class rn?_

_[injunnie <3]_

_only have 10 mins left anyway,,_

_and hyuck was cursing me so,,, will not let that slide >:(_

_[hYUCKkk]_

_Gross,, get a room u two_

_N e ways,, where r my babies_

_It’s my vacant_

_[jaemsss]_

_Be there baby, just waiting for yang to pack up! :*_

_[liuyanggg]_

_Finished,,, see u babie^^_

Renjun scoffed. Though nobody could see it.

_[injunnie <3]_

_eww gross, get a room!!!_

Renjun was packing up his things, he was already finished for the day, ready to eat something or maybe go home when he received a text form Jeno, asking him to have lunch together to which he replied an unwavering _‘yes!!! okay sure!!’_ to.

“There’s a party on Friday. A senior is throwing it, reason being that it’s his first day of his last year as a student, and like everyone could go, so, we should totally go.” Jeno said in the middle of their lunch.

“Hmm, first day of uni and that’s, like, the first thing that you want to do, huh, party.” Renjun sassed.

Jeno rolled his eyes. “Come on, Jun! This should be fun. The others would be there and Jaem already volunteered to stay sober through the night so someone would drive us back to the dorms.”

Renjun wanted to convince himself that he only wanted to agree was because they already had someone who’d give them a ride back, but he well knows that it’s because he couldn’t say no to Jeno that’s why he nodded his head.

He shouldn’t have.

He was so anxious as the time of the party became closer, and when they really got to the party, he just became more anxious, feeling as though something bad might just happen tonight.

“You should confess.” Renjun, who’s eyes are roaming, searching for the other three part of his friend group, had his eyes snapped back suddenly to the one he was with now. Yangyang sipped at his red solo cup, glancing at Renjun, then proceeded to watch the people surrounding them. “You heard me, you should confess.”

Renjun just stared at the younger, he chuckled. “Come on, Yang. You know how that’s gonna end. Jeno, he… he doesn’t like me like that.”

“Stupid.” Yangyang exclaimed. “Stupid. Both of you. Really.” They both laugh. “Have you seen the way he looks at you? Dude, have you forgotten how he reacted when I came? When Jaemin came?” Yangyang asked rhetorically with emphasis.

Renjun just chuckled, he really didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to get his hopes up.

“I’m not getting your hopes up, ‘kay?” Yangyang said as if the younger was reading his mind, moving to straighten his body from where he was leaning at the wall beside Renjun. “I’m just saying what I observed. Do you know where Hyuckie went? Jaems is at the balcony chilling since he’s not drinking.”

“Uhm, he went with his other blockmates, I think.” Renjun answered.

“I’m just gonna look for him, it’s getting close to two, we should get going.” Yangyang said to him already moving. “You should think of it.” The boy added, already screaming the words even if he’s just three feet away.

_Supercut_ was blasting in the speakers when Renjun decided to look for Jeno, having received a text from Jaemin that they should get going and that the boy was helping Yangyang out to carry a drunk Hyuck to their car already.

Renjun didn’t expect that his search would be cut short as he was just in the living room and he found Jeno in the kitchen, drunk and making out with someone who Renjun didn’t know who but was probably a senior from their university.

Everything seemed to still at the moment. The only thing he could make off of what’s happening was the loud beating of his heart and that Jeno was sitting on top of the kitchen counter and had his tongue shoved in another’s guy throat.

He was frozen. And he might have stayed that way for a while if it wasn’t for his phone buzzing inside his pockets. Getting him out his trance, he averted his eyes to the scene to check his phone and saw that Jaemin was calling.

He needed to get out of there. So, he went outside to where the other three were, not bothering to intrude Jeno’s make out session, and he was met with Jaemin’s irritated, but worried face.

“Where have you been?” Jaemin asked, annoyance evident in his voice.

“I’m sorry, Jaems, but I couldn’t find Jen, can—” Renjun was about to ask Jaemin to find Jeno. He couldn’t go back inside.

“What do you mean? He’s right behind you.” And, as if on cue, Jeno walked past him, making his way to the front seat.

“Min, let’s go!” Yangyang shouted from the backseat, as Donghyuck had his head on the boy’s lap. Jaemin shot him a knowing glance.

“We’ll talk about this.” The boy said to him, making his way at the driver’s seat as Renjun made his to the back.

\---

_I always thought that I’d be stuck at that shade of blue._

_But the thing is, Jeno, that even if you somehow get stuck that deep in the situation,_

_You can always resurface and find hope._

\---

Renjun was losing hope.

He and Jeno haven’t talk since that night, and it should be easy leaving it as it is, but having a group of friends like theirs, the topic hasn’t died down even if one month already passed.

“Jun, come on, you said that you’d exchange with Jaems on the first Saturday, and it’s been a month since then but you haven’t moved to exchange rooms with him.” Donghyuck whined.

_Ah._ And there’s this, too.

This was an issue that was supposed to be solved before the incident happened; Donghyuck and Yangyang had a childish argument before the signed the papers of who’ll room with who in the dorms, and since Jaemin was stuck in the middle of it, they decided that it would be better if Jaemin and Jeno would be roommates first until the fight was over. The two made up right before the classes started, and they all agreed to let the first week pass by before they made the arrangements. But then, the incident happened.

Renjun sighed. “I already told you, Hyuck. And, I thought Jaems already explained to you? And it’s not like you live far away from each other, our rooms are literally facing each other.”

“I don’t get how suddenly he likes being Jeno’s roommate and that he’s too lazy to exchange rooms now to postpone it until next semester.” The boy scoffs. He adjusted his chair so he could prop his elbows on the table. “You know, Jaemin is really, really bad liar.”

“Your point?” Renjun tilted his head, challenging.

Donghyuck gave him a pointed glance. “Something happened that night, right? And you’re leaving me in the dark because you know I’ll do something about it. Especially, if it’s the reason why Jaemin’s postponing his moving in. More especially, if it involves you and Jen.” Donghyuck emphasized.

Renjun hates it. He hates the fact that even if Donghyuck seems like he doesn’t think sometimes, he’s actually very attentive, wise, and smart. The boy hums. “I know Yangyang knows, too.”

“I witnessed him making out with someone that night, Hyuck.” Renjun said, staring blankly at nowhere right after the words escaped his lips. He laughed bitterly. “And, I don’t if he, if he saw me, but, I walked out of there when Jaemin called. I was about to ask Jaemin to be the one to look for him, but,” he gulped. “He was already there behind me when I was about to finish my sentence, and, well, we haven’t talked since.”

“Stupid. Both of you. Really.” Renjun laughed. Remembering Yangyang’s words. “Fix this. I don’t know how, but you two need to fix this. By the end of the month, Jaemin needs to be roommates with us.” Donghyuck clicks his tongue. “I’ve always thought that Jeno was the most oblivious one.” The boy sighed. “Guess he has competition, huh.” Renjun just lowered his gaze to the ground. He didn’t know what to make out of the statement, and he didn’t want to really get his hopes up, but that’s got to mean something, right?

\---

_My love, you know that first breath you’ll take after being under the ocean for too long?_

_The relief and the warmth that spreads out in your lungs is the greatest thing._

_And the sky, my love. The sky is there to remind you that you have resurfaced, and just liked that,_

_The universe really has its own way of telling me that somehow, my greatest relief and comfort has something to do with you._

\---

It was two days later when Renjun found himself locked out of his own apartment, a sticky note was placed on the door with words that said: ‘ _I got impatient. Use this opportunity. You got this. –Hyuckie ^^_ ’, to which Renjun mumbled ‘ _Asshole_ ’ at.

He bangs at the door. “Hyuck, open up, this isn’t funny. I want to sleep.” He placed his ears flat on the door.

He heard Donghyuck giggles on the other side. “Do you really thing this is a good idea?” It was Jaemin.

“Let them be, about time that they made up anyway.” It was Yangyang.

“And, made out.” Donghyuck giggles.

“Hyuck, I can hear you!” Renjun shouted. “And Yangyang? Really? You approve of this? I thought you were on my side? Is Jaemin literally the only one I can trust? I swear—” His rants were cut short by the sound of the door behind him opening.

He turned around hurriedly, pressing his back on the wood behind him. Jeno immerged from the other door, rubbing his eyes as if the noise woke him up.

Jeno looked up, expression unreadable. “What’s happening?” The boy asked, glancing as at the closed door behind Renjun.

“Jen, let Jun sleep for the night at yours!” Donghyuck’s muffled voice announced from the other side of the door. Startling Renjun.

Five minutes of silence passed before Jeno shifted. Opening the door wider. “You should get in, it’s getting pretty late.” Jeno offered.

Renjun hesitantly followed Jeno inside. Hugging his backpack tightly.

“You can sleep in Jaemin’s—” Jeno’s sentence was cut short when Jaemin’s bedroom door wouldn’t budge open. “Uhh, I guess they locked it.”

Renjun sighed. “Assholes.” He mumbled. The air became awkward, none of them speaking.

Jeno fake coughs. “You can sleep in my room, I’ll just take the couch.” The boy offered.

“No.” Renjun replied, almost immediately. “I can sleep here.”

“Oh. Okay. I’ll just get some extra blanket.” Renjun breathed heavily as soon as Jeno’s disappeared in his bedroom. He sat as the couch, slouching as he rested his head back.

He was quick to straighten his position when Jeno immerged again in the living room. Handing him a pillow, a spare blanket, and a boxer shorts and a t-shirt. “You can change at the bathroom, I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”

Renjun sighed as Jeno’s bedroom door closed. He hastily changed into the clothes Jeno gave him, then he settled on the couch, and too long after that, sleep engulfed him.

He was awaken by the sound of utensils clattering. He got up, rubbed the sleep off his eyes and made his way to the kitchen. He looked at the wall clock. It was 6 AM in the morning, and the one and only Lee Jeno, was in the kitchen, trying his best to make pancakes and making a big mess because of it.

“Jaemin would kill you.” He didn’t know what came to him to say that suddenly. Jeno turned around hurriedly upon hearing his voice, and the sight made Renjun giggle, because the boy had pancake batter smeared on his forehead and right cheek.

Jeno smiles at him. Hesitance evident on his face. “Good morning.”

Renjun moved to sit at the counter. He smiled awkwardly. “Good morning.”

Jeno continued to cook. Renjun watched him from behind. The silence was a bit awkward and a bit comfortable at the same time.

“I think we ran out of strawberry syrup, but I hope chocolate can suffice.” Jeno said, pushing a plate of pancakes his way and the chocolate syrup right after.

“It’s fine. Thank you.” Renjun said, pouring chocolate syrup at his pancakes, slicing them and eating right after.

Jeno stares at him. “How, how is it?” the boy worriedly asked.

Renjun hums. “I’m not feeling nauseous, so, I guess their fine.” He giggles. “They’re delicious, Jen.”

Jeno sighed in relief. They eat in peace. Renjun offered to do the dishes when they finished. Jeno was beside him the whole time, watching him. After putting the last plate on the shelf, Renjun faced Jeno.

“What?” He asked, wiping his hands with a towel.

“Why didn’t you stop me?” Renjun furrowed his eyebrows. Confused. “That night. At the party.” The boy sighed. Defeated. “Donghyuck told me you liked me back.” _Liked him back?_ Now, Renjun was more confused. “And, god, it was so childish of me to think that maybe, you’d be jealous if I did that that night and you’d actually confess, but, I guess I just always end up hurting you, huh?” Jeno smiled sadly, gaze landing on the floor.

“Jen, how, what?” The sudden confession made Renjun’s mind a bit hazy. He couldn’t think properly. Couldn’t understand. Jeno needed to say more.

“I guess you really don’t like me, after all.” Jeno let out a strained laugh. “Or maybe you did, and now you don’t, because looking back at it, all I ever did was to hurt you, Jun.” Jeno looked at Renjun straight in the eyes. Sadness and hurt written all over his face.

Renjun couldn’t speak. “You should sleep some more. Donghyuck would probably get out of their late given that it’s Saturday. Sorry for waking you up.” Jeno made a move to walk past Renjun, but he stopped him. Grabbing the boy’s wrist, and gently pushing him back in his place.

“Jen, what, you like me?” He asked, still a bit confused and very, very astounded.

Jeno sighed. “Yes, Jun, I like you, and I’m really sorry if all I ever did was hurt you, and, it’s okay if you don’t like me back. You deserve someone anyway.”

Renjun could cry. And he did cry. Hot tears trickled down his face as he laughed. “Shit, Jun, why are you crying?” Jeno engulfed him in a hug. Mumbling hushed apologies as the boy stroked his back, planting kisses on his forehead to calm down.

He giggled. Tears still streaming down his cheeks. “The amount of tears I shed for you is limitless, really.”

Jeno whines. “Stop it. Stop crying, I don’t deserve your tears, Jun, please.”

“Then who does, Jen?” He looked up at Jeno. Placing his arms around the boy’s neck. “You don’t know how happy I am, now that I know that my feelings are reciprocated.” He laughs.

“Jun, you mean—”

“Yes.” He buried his face on the boy’s neck. “Yes, I still like you stupid, childish ass, Jeno. Even after everything I’m still so into you.” He breathes in Jeno’s scent. “So, please, have me. Have my annoying, sassy ass and my heart that only beats for you.” They both laugh.

Jeno broke the hug, placing his hand on Renjun’s waist, looking at him in the eyes. “I can’t promise you that I won’t be childish and immature at times, Jun.” The boy placed a hand on Renjun’s cheek, he leans on the touch. “I am so naturally protective when it comes to you.” Jeno kissed Renjun’s cheek. “I’m sorry for that night, too. Please know that I only truly have my eyes on you.” He pulled Renjun into a tight hug again. “If you ever doubt that, then please have me. I will do everything to prove you that.”

Renjun just smiles. He pulled Jeno closer. “I will have you, Jen.” He mumbled. “After all that’s happened, I’ll have you.” He reassured. Pulling back to cup Jeno’s face and to kiss him right on the lips.

\---

_Maybe you’ll say that this is such a stretch just to make you flustered when you’ve only really asked me what colour I associate you with, Jen._

_And maybe it is, but, I don’t care, for all the things that I’ve said are true._

_And to add one, as I try my best to keep the sounds I make minimum, because you’re sleeping soundly on our shared bed, I realized that there’s another colour…_

_Purple. Not surprising that it’s related to blue but,_

_That is the colour that represents forever, Jenjen._

_And I know we still have a long way and that five months into the relationship is still like a start, but,_

_My love, I want you to know that even after all this time, the love I have for you hasn’t change._

_It just really keeps on getting stronger and bigger._

_And, I have no regrets in loving you despite what we’ve been through._

_And I want you to know that come may your brightest or deepest shade of blue,_

_No matter what, I will still forever love you._

_You are one hell of a sight, Lee Jeno._

_From the brightest shade of colour on your life,_

_Huang Renjun._

**Author's Note:**

> supercut is a song by lorde,, its pretty good!!! actually the whole album (melodrama) is,, give it a listen if you like!!!
> 
> i didn't expect to be this busy even if my school actually starts at aug but i'm still determined to write!!! i'm actually a markhyuck shipper,, so i'm actually surprised that i can write jaehyuckyang((??)) comfortably, but i really think they go well so,,
> 
> i honestly wanna write markhyuck next.... then jaewin. chensung and many more haha!!
> 
> i hope ya'll enjoyed this!!! i have a lot to improve and i'm trying my best ^^
> 
> [12:50] huang renjun, i hope you have time to look at the stars that shine as beautifully as you. keep on shining, my love. i hope your passion never fades. i love youu.


End file.
